I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
