I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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