Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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