i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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