Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just had sex on a roof
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
