how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
