Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
