Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize