and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You smell like stripper and shame
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
