Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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