He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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