Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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