Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
