; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
