Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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