We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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