One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
