went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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