She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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