I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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