omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
