We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Apparently you make a good broom.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
