I wannas sexs uuuuu
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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