Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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