Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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