Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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