Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
