I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
this hospital has no fireball
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
