I CAN MOONWALK!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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