Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
