Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
