I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
