dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
bring money and cleavage
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
