just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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