I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
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do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
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The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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