I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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