she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
