Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well I just put wine in my tea
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
