Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
