the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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