well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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