We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
