in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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