I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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