Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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