are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
