Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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