I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize