it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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