how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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