glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
