Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
