one two three fourrrrnication!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
