hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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