I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
