its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
