You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
