But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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