Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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