...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
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Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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