The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
